Tuesday, 30 December 2008

Review of 2008

I have my last ever Woolworth’s Christmas ‘pick and mix’ pot on my desk. It is an icon of my childhood and indeed my adult life of family Christmas times over the last 24 years or so. Now even Woolworth’s is closing. Is nothing certain!
Everything in life can feel very fragile and vulnerable. In reality, if it were not for God it all would be. Our health in all aspects: physical, emotional and mental. Our financial provision and employment, family well being, our houses, cars, laptops, clothes, friendships, churches, travel and abilities. God provides ‘daily bread’ of all kinds. The list of all that could be vulnerable is endless. In Job we are told of God ‘if it were his will and he withdrew his Spirit all mankind would perish together’ Our next breath is not just natural, it is the gracious provision of a sustaining God. Therefore I say ‘thank you Jesus for all your provision over the last year’
I write these things as looking back over 2008 there are many things I wish were different, many things I wish had not happened, many things I wonder why I have had to deal with this. But when put in perspective. I have had health, provision, grace and guidance to deal with everything life has brought my way. As again Scripture says ‘his divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness’.
Have I grown in God? Have we as a church? Have we as a family? Have I done all God required of me, being faithful to his calling? I suppose ‘yes’ and ‘no’ would both be true. I feel I have spent more time reacting to things than initiating things. I rarely meet people who do not feel in some ways like this. Sometimes we realise our personal world has a magnifying glass on it and when we step back and see the vastness of the world and God’s purposes being outworked, whilst we are not insignificant we are smaller than we think when we reflect on ourselves with ‘sober judgement’ as we are advised to do. This brings appropriate humility and a worship of Jesus who is higher than all. I am grateful to have had another year to love and serve him. I am grateful to have had another year of a wonderful family sharing life with me. I am grateful I have not yet finished ‘that for which Christ took hold of me’ as I am still here and ‘pressing on’. And what of 2009? The best is yet to be! And afterwards eternity!

Thursday, 4 December 2008

Fascination with God

I often wonder about what love for God means? What does it mean when I hear someone say, ‘I love Jesus’? I have come to the conclusion that a good way to describe this love in a way that as a man I can more readily relate to and quantify is to say that I am fascinated with God. I find Jesus fascinating. What is he doing? , what is he like in his character and attitude towards this situation of this person? How will he solve this, what does he think about this?
In fact much like a small child awestruck at a superhero or a football player. I find myself constantly engrossed in watching Jesus every move. I am always amazed at how kind, loving, strong, powerful, holy, clear, compassionate, honest, strong or brave he is. How is takes times to talk to those in need of counsel, heals those who are sick, encourages those who are weary, has clear goals and purposes that nothing can dissuade him from achieving.
I am just glad that I get to hang around him. I cannot think of ever wanting not to know him or be around him. It is a bit like finding that you are the object of the bullies’ attention in the playground, then just before the bully lands his first punch. I can turn to him and say pointing behind me ‘I’m with him’ one sight of Jesus on my side will deter any unwanted attention from enemies.
I owe a lot in my early Christian life to ‘the navigators’. This organisation produced many helpful tools to help learn how to meditate on Scripture. I owe a lot to a book by Campbell Mcalpine called ‘how to meditate on Scripture’. These tools helped me access scripture making it to me like reading a super hero comic book or reading rather than watching an adventure about an amazing person who always does the right thing. I would learn to chew over aspects of God’s character until I had got them so into my conception of how he is. My relationship with him was based on truth and not on my previous misconceptions. Just as a young child would then imitate his hero. I found myself wanting to be like my hero.
This fascination with God has never left me. It is the only reason when it all boils down to it that I lead a church and seek to plant other new ones. It is out of engagement with this person who still engrosses me. How he has gone through what he has in order to cleanse and forgive me amazes me, why should he do this, what was he thinking whilst he died for you and me?
We often hear the lament ‘where are the men in church life’. Women seem in the majority. Perhaps some of this in our culture might be addressed by encouraging more men to become fascinated by and with God, initially in some ways stirring their hunger as it would be by some piece of engineering or passing comment on a good football match as they watch skilful players.
This then can lead to intimacy and close relationship with God himself as a personal relationship which actually is just as much a manly trait as a womanly one.
I trust I will always be fascinated with God and close to him. One of the most fascinating things is of course for some strange reason he is fascinated with me and desire to have a close relationship to me – fascinating?